I just tried taking The Official Practice Citizenship Test for a laugh – it’s available online at http://www.ukcitizenshiptest.co.uk – and I failed it! It’s supposedly a very close replica of the one that real applicants must sit.

I was born in Britain, of British parents, and I’ve lived here all my life: so I’m about as British as they come. I also like to think that I am of above-average intelligence and reasonably well up on UK current affairs (hopefully as a reader of my blog you’ll agree…) but I still failed the test with just 50% (the pass mark is 75%)!

I honestly couldn’t see why most people would want or need to know some of the things they ask in The Official Practice Citizenship Test. For example:

• What is the official report of the proceedings of Parliament called? (So I got it right, but that’s not really the point.)

• How many days in a year must schools be open? (I got this right too but it’s completely irrelevant because the school writes to me every term to tell me the exact dates after allowing for inset days etc.)

• Define a quango? (Again, I got it right, but how relevant is this to most people?)

• In 2001, what percentage of people in the UK said they were Muslims? (A lucky guess for me on this one!)

• How many people in the UK are under 19 years old?

• Where does the European Parliament meet?

• How many parliamentary constituencies are there?

And so the utterly ridiculous questions continue! And if you think those questions are irrelevant to daily life WAIT UNTIL YOU SEE THE ONES THAT I GOT WRONG!!!

Honestly, it makes some of the questions in Trivial Pursuit look as though they have daily relevance!

If you want to try The Official Practice UK Citizenship Test for yourself and see how you fare, give it a go at:

http://www.ukcitizenshiptest.co.uk

And when you’re done, please come back here and leave a comment with your percentage score and thoughts.

Clearly I now need to pack my bags and leave my lifelong home country because I am no longer welcome here: I’m simply too stupid and ill-informed to be worthy of living here. I’ll try to keep the blog going from whichever country graciously condescends to accept this failed UK citizen.

And when I think how much of my hard-earned money this government has taken from me in tax to get some civil-servant to dream up these stupid things it makes my blood boil.

Try The Official Practice UK Citizenship Test now and tell me how you do:

http://www.ukcitizenshiptest.co.uk

Finally, do please use the facilities below to bookmark this post for the benefit of others and/or comment on it too.